Uganda is not the place to be a woman these days. It seems men have arrogated themselves the right to kill wives and ex-lovers who disappoint them.
Can a week pass without news of a woman being hacked to death by an inferior man who she has left for someone better? Nah!
Moreover, in most cases it is the stupid man who abandons the woman, thinking gleefully that she is going to suffer with him gone.
Then when they check after sometime, maliciously expecting her to be in sackcloth, only to find her happy with somebody else.
That is when blind jealousy of the inferior brain takes over and he looks for the sharpest object and starts cutting the poor woman to pieces. It seems the reasoning is that “you must not be happy after I dumped you!”
Where do I start recounting? There was this nasty idiot during the last week of the year who emerged from the islands.
He had abandoned his poor woman in the village somewhere near the Tanzanian border.
Then he went to the islands to become a fisherman, and no doubt take on the habits of fishermen.
His abandoned wife was starving in the village.
That is where another loving gentleman spotted her and they started off. She got pregnant and guess what? She delivered twins.
A year later, the fisherman returns to mainland and passes by the village where he left her. She was still there, in a different house, of course, because she had been kicked out of the previous house due to non-payment of rent. She was in a house rented by her new man, father of her twins.
But they were not to enjoy the coveted status of being parents of twins – which earns the man the title of Salongo and the woman becomes Nalongo, here in Uganda. Blind with jealousy and hatred, Mr Fisherman got a knife and hacked the twins to death.
Then he turned on to the woman and chopped off her hands. Majestically, he then marched to the police station, remorselessly announcing how he had punished the wrongdoer who had got another man when he was away!
We were still recovering from the images of the armless woman, mourning her slain twins when we got new ones of another woman whose intestines were slashed by her husband until she bled to death.
This one had taken her out for a drink to commemorate the New Year and he claims another man winked at her while in the bar and she blushed.
So returning home, he got a knife and started removing her intestines.
He locked her corpse in the house and rang the landlord, advising him to get a new tenant because he was relocating to an undisclosed destination, and the wife was too dead to continue paying for the house. Imagine!
And as the first week of January drew to a close, the media splashed a new report saying lecturers at the country’s oldest university of Makerere were demanding sex from female students.
A bored commentator on social media dismissed the story, saying it will only be news if the students start demanding sex from lecturers. That is Uganda today!